Greetings

Welcome to my website. I hope you’re finding this site well, whether you’re a fan or a bitter enemy hellbent on revenge. I created this site to showcase my comedic efforts to a loving Internet. Here are just a few of the things you can expect to find:

  • A schedule of my upcoming performances!
  • Videos!
  • Blog posts!
  • Fun facts!
  • Contact forms!
  • Broken links! (Sorry.)
  • The true meaning of Christmas!
  • A stirring sensuality you thought was long dormant!

I hope you enjoy your time on the site, and eventually find the feet porn you are really look for. I LOVE YOU AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

Sincerely,

Tom Selleck

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I cannot stop laughing at the description of this movie. Those mellow blouse-peddling dudes get all the chicks. Don't take away our Chuck E. Cheese animatronic bands. Don't erase history. "I'm a shoes!"